A bitter pill is the hardest to swallow

Actually, with a band most pills are tricky.

Here I am, the absent blogger. I could name a dozen reasons why I haven't blogged. No news in the weight loss department...busy with school...spring lake trips.

Or the fact that I have a pill of bitterness stuck in the back of my throat and I am having a hard time swallowing it.

For those that don't know, my husband and I have struggled with infertility for a long time. We've been married 9 years and more than anything in the world wanted to be parents. I've gone through the hormone treatments and all that jazz. Then I had a basketball-sized cyst removed in 2011 that had killed my right ovary. Last July we found out that my left over aged prematurely - which means there are no eggs. No eggs means no babies. It was the most devastating thing that ever happened to us.

We looked into adoption - but that is very very expensive. There was a foster to adopt program through CPS, but we don't qualify. Instead of being the parents we have always dreamed of, we will be the two old people on the front porch, drinking coffee, surrounded by our Chihuahuas.

The bitter part?? The part that makes me seem like a selfish witch? My sister-in-law and brother-in-law also have had fertility issues. They tried for a couple of years with no luck. She went to the same specialist I visited in July and decided that IVF was the right path for them. A few weeks ago they tried the procedure for the third and final time. She found out a week or so ago that she is pregnant. She found out today that she is having twins.

I should be elated. I should be able to congratulate her. But instead I am green with envy. So jealous that it hurts. They spent the weekend at the lake with us and everytime they brought it up I just walked away. The whole family is just thrilled that they finally got what they deserve. For now, I can't be.

I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. Sanford is just as hurt as I am, so I don't bring it up. My mom just tells me that "God has a plan." And that hurts my heart even more because I am mad. Mad at God. Mad at the life I have been dealt. And I know I should let go of that anger. But it is hard.

So, like I said. It's a bitter pill. I can't seem to choke it down. Maybe getting it out of my head will help my heart start to heal.

I must confess...

I've never really followed a workout routine since being banded. I've walked, ran, did bleacher and Zumba but always in spurts.

It seems as though my body revolts at the idea of any kind of exercise in the winter. And then craves it when the weather warms up.

I must also confess that I haven't worked out at all since...September!! Sigh.

Yesterday, I decided to change all that!! I hit the gym at the student center after class. I did a quick 12 minute mile on the treadmill, 2 miles on the stationary bike and then had my first experience with an elliptical. Yowza! My coordination, not so great. I did last about 5 minutes on level 7...and I am happy to report that I was able to get out of bed without assistance today.

Actually, I'm not sore at all. Which is a disappointment. I love that next day sore feeling. It lets me know that I accomplished something!! I guess I will push myself a little farther tomorrow!!! I think I'm going to start out with 3 days a week and then step it up to 4...and in a few weeks add some weights to my routine.

Here we go!!!

The Lights Are On

I just had to share the most amazing thing that happened to me yesterday (even though I should be doing some last minute studying for today's lab practical...).

I was lucky enough to grow up with two sets of amazing grandparents. I was closer to my mom's mom growing up. Grandmother lived about 20 minutes away, but I spent every free second I had with her. My mom's stepdad was my "Bob" and the first person I ever lost. My dad's parents lived 100 rows of corn away, and I went to their house everyday after school and played cards with Granny. We lost Grandmother in 2005 - and I still miss her everyday. My dad's parents still live 100 rows of corn away...

I know I have mentioned before that from time to time I stay with my grandparents. They need 24 hour care - my grandpa had a stroke 2 years ago and is wheelchair-bound. He can walk, with the aid of a walker, but can't really speak. Granny has Alzheimer's. Before Grandpa's stroke he took care of her all by himself. I really don't know how he did it. He'll be 89 in April. Up until the day of his stroke he was still tending to the animals (cows) and gardening and doing everything around the house. He's a pretty amazing man.

Most days Granny spends the day in bed. She never knows where she is. She knows her family, but can't remember how to get up out of the chair or where her bedroom is. Alzheimer's is an awful disease.

Yesterday after class I went out to sit with them because their regular weekday sitter was sick. When I pulled up to the house, they were both sitting on the front porch - which is rare for Granny. Grandpa would prefer sitting on the porch all day - even when its 100 degrees out in the summer.

Granny stayed up all afternoon. She would sit outside for a while, and then come sit in the living room. We chatted and visited and it was an unusual and totally enjoyable afternoon.

Around 4, I was going to start cooking supper. I went out to the bathroom (it's on the back porch!) to wash my hands. I walk back into the kitchen and Granny has gotten a box of frozen sausages out of the fridge. She cut them open with a knife, got a cookie sheet out of the cabinet and put them in the oven. (I waited until she left the room to turn off the oven and put the sausage back in the fridge!) I started cooking supper and and she stayed with me in the kitchen the entire time, stirring the potatoes, getting the butter out of the fridge and helping me make gravy. She walked out of the kitchen once, and I thought that maybe that little shining light I saw in her eyes had gone out. But she had gone to the bedroom to make her bed!! In two years she has never once tried to cook. Not only did she help me cook, but she set the table!!! Normally Grandpa eats in the dining room and Granny eats in her chair in the living room.

I went in and told Grandpa that even though it was early, Granny had helped me cook supper and set the table, so if it was ok with him, we were going to have supper early. He grinned from ear to ear. It was so cute, the two of them sitting at the dining room table enjoying a meal together.

If any of you have ever had a friend or relative with Alzheimer's or Dementia, you understand what a big deal this is. This is as close to lucid I have seen my Granny in a long long time. It absolutely made my week. This disease is hard. It's hard on her, and hard on the family. Seeing someone you have loved your whole life become a totally different person is heartbreaking. Knowing that it will only get worse makes these rare moments even more special.

Yesterday was a day I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Child Psych Project

We got the information on a poster project we have to do in my child psych class today. The poster isn't due until the last day of the semester, but I'm so thankful she gave us the info today - now I don't have to be the nerd, asking for it so I can knock it out during spring break.

We get to chose our own topic - anything "childhood related" and I am at a loss. I want something thought provoking, interesting and something so awesome that I can make the "wall of amazingness."

Any ideas???

Devil Cookies

Do you know what annoys me??? People that assume because I am banded I don’t eat.


Um, yeah. I never eat. Haven’t taken a bite of food in 18 months.

Believe me, if that were the case, I wouldn’t be struggling at this plateau I’ve been stuck on!! Of course, if that were the case, I’d be DEAD.

But anywho. Other than being stuck at my current weight, not needing a fill, needing to get off my butt and get active banded life has been “normal.” Well, except for that minor incident in the truck on the way to school yesterday morning. I know exactly what I did wrong: a) I was eating while driving. b) I was eating something “new”. c) I was eating in the MORNING. And d) I was eating too fast.

While shoveling some of those little Lorna Doon or whatever they are called, cookies from a 100 calorie pack into my mouth I was barely chewing because I was dying of starvation. Had I paused to slow down for a second, I would have felt the second or so bite get stuck. But it was when I had a mouthful of cookies that I got that old familiar feeling. Uh oh. Luckily I had a water bottle handy. Welcome to slime city. Lesson learned.



Funny thing, though. I’ve never actually PB’d. Ever. (knocks on wood, crosses fingers, spits twice) I’ve had my fair share of sliming experiences and the occasional stuck episode. Or that oops I gulped too much water and have to spit out what’s in my mouth. But never an actual PB.



Spring is springing here in Texas and that means two things: 1. allergies!! and 2. lake trips!!! I love spring!!

AND less than two weeks until Spring Break. I really am considering becoming a professional student. I love studying and learning new things!!! And my grades this semester are “refrigerator door” worthy, according to Sanford. My test grades so far: 94 on Child Psych; 96 on Nutrition; 99 on A&P Lab Practical and 102 on A&P Lecture. =)



But now we are studying the skeleton in lab. Lots of bones. Lots of markings. I’m starting to feel whelmed. You know that feeling right before overwhelmed??? Yeah, that one!!!



I really need my very own skeleton…hmmm

boo

I'm sick of my Nutrition book. I want to throw it in the river.

That is all.

Shopping and other schtuff

Last week I went shopping to find some "college student" clothes. I was tired of looking like an old lady, wearing slacks and dress shoes!!! This is really the first shopping trip where I could go basically anywhere. As a teacher I would stick to the "boring" stores....Penney's, Stage, Macy's...but I wanted some comfy clothes!!! I started at 0ld Na.vy. I really wanted some Holli.ster or Aero.postale sweats, but I just couldn't make myself pay $40+ for sweats!!!

I got several super cute tops and some sweat pant capris....all for under $50!! I was in the market for jeans, but I was in a bit of a rush. I also got a pair of shoes I have been wanting FOREVER!!

I got these cuties in a size 9!!!

Tuesday I decided I was sick of my baggy butt jean, so I went to my favorite store for some Levi's. I still head straight for the women's department in every store I enter. It always takes me a second to realize that I can't wear anything in that department!!! Now, I don't even go near the juniors department. I refuse to wear jeans with a 2 centimeter zipper!! By anywho, I did find me some jeans...I found some jeans that almost didn't need to be hemmed...I am not short enough for petite, but too short to be average. It is a pain!!!

In other news...

My band is at perfect restriction. But I am still not losing. Not gaining. It is so frustrating. If I could just lose these last 20 pounds I would be happy. I apparently rock "maintenance" because I can hang out at a weight for months.

My biggest issue? I am not hungry all day. Then after I eat supper I am insatiable. I know it's in my head. I know what I need to do. I haven't exercised in a month. I gotta get off my butt and DO something!!!

Sanford started a new job this week!!! He is a service technician for forklifts and whatnot. This job could not have come at a better time!!! He is making MORE DINERO, and he has a company truck with a gas card!!

I have a busy weekend planned. Studying until I drop!!!

Catching Up

Have you ever felt like you are drowning? I am so insanely OCD about school I feel that if I'm not working on something school related at all times I am falling behind. I think it may be unhealthy!! But, since my Anatomy book is in the kitchen, I figured I would take a second to dump all the things floating around in my brain - bullet style!

• College - here's a rundown of how classes are going
• Child Psych
• It seems to be a requirement for all psychology/sociology professors to be a little whacked out, and mine is no exception
• We had 93 slides to cover for our first exam, but she is such a spazoid that we only covered 36
• I think one reason I like her so much is her teaching style is a lot like mine. If something pops into her brain during lecture, she shares it. (Like watching a random Monty Python clip about a dead parrot)
• I had to research female circumcision and write a short report
• Being the ubernerd, I ended up with an entire page when most of my classmates wrote 4 sentences...
• We had our first test Monday. I made a 94!!! The class average was 62. I had the highest grade out of 42 people. I'm kinda proud of myself!!
• Nutrition
• My professor is a year younger than me and pretty cool. The class is super laid back!
• We had "snack day" on Friday. Class is at 12, but I'm still pretty tight then. I was able to refrain from PBing - even after me and my stupid self decided to try a pomegranate rice cake. Hello!! What's a rice cake made of?? RICE. I did try a couple of wasabi and soy sauce flavored almonds...super spicy, but pretty good!!!
• Anatomy
• Sigh. This class is going to be the death of me. SOOO much information.
• Anatomy Lab
• So, I rocked the quiz last week - 16 out of a possible 15 points!!
• We had our first practical yesterday. Out of 50 "questions" I was a little iffy on 2 of them. I came home and looked up the answers and I'm pretty sure I got them both right. Plus we had 4 bonuses. So, maybe I made over 100!!
• Lab is more anatomy and lecture is more physiology
• the anatomy part is like learning a new language - which I'm totally good at!! Too bad you can't put that on a resume - languages spoken: English, Spanish, Anatomy
• Life
• We went to the lake this weekend. Super relaxing and super fun!!
• We also went to the church Sanford's mom grew up in. She comes from a huge family. Her dad had 26 children!!! Not all from the same wife of course!! Sanford's MawMaw was the last wife and had 10 children.
• When they have a family reunion they rent a STATE PARK!!!
• This weekend we celebrated my mother-in-law's parents' birthdays. Her dad would have turned 124 yesterday. Crazy!!!
• Our Marine came home yesterday!!!! He's been gone - deployed - for over a year!!
• We all went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Like real Mexican food, not Tex Mex. I enjoyed it, but I came home smelling like a fajita -ick.
• Banded life
• There's no question, I HAVE to start exercising. I've got to make time for it.
• I ate really well over the weekend, then I came home, jumped on the scale and it told me I had gained 5 pounds. WTH???
• I got on the scale Monday morning and managed to lose 7. I think my scale is on crack.

Ok, I've rambled on about nothing at all for long enough. Back to my Anatomy book.

Keep on keepin' on, ladies!!

Got my hurr did!!

Here are a few pics of my hair...I will try for some better ones tomorrow, lighting doesn't really show the color too well!!!

I ended up chopping about 4 inches off!!!

Didn't capture the color with this crappy lighting =(

I'm agitated that these pics make it look gray. The color is awesome!!!

Ignore my messy nightstand!!!

My new purse!!! Made from recycled water bottles!!!

hmmm...

Have you ever thought about the fact that you haven't seen someone post anything on facebook in a long time, go to their page to see what's up only to find that you have been unfriended?? Maybe I'm just irrational...but then the wheels start spinning and I start wondering what I did to be unfriended...

In other news, I made a 16 on my A&P quiz yesterday!! (Out of a possible 15 points)

AND, today I get my hurr did. Super excited.

AND tomorrow I'm on a quest for "college student" clothes. I'm tired of looking like an old woman!!! I went jeans shopping yesterday - no luck. I finally got sick of trying on pants. The 14s I took in the dressing room were a bit baggy and everything was too freaking long. I hate being a midget. Plus the selection at the store I went to was less than wonderful. I can't stand the new jeans trend - you know, the ones with the one inch zipper?? I am old school and prefer my butt crack being COVERED at all times!!!

Hair

I haven't cut or colored my hair in over year. Other than the occasional trim, I've pretty much ignored my hair. Well, I got the wild hair -bahahaha- to do something drastic!!! SO here are a few pics I found online to show my hairdresser...I need some FEMALE opinions, because Sanford wants me to practically shave it all off!!!

This is the color. YES, those are purple highlights!!!

A

B

C

D

E

I can't decide on a cut!! I don't want to go super short, because I really want to grow my hair out. BUT, once it gets to my shoulders it does this weird flippy thing. I want it all to go under, but it flips out randomly.

And of course I have a head full of baby hairs, so they like to stick up!!! Any advice ladies??

Or, do you know of a good website that I can just browse tons of styles??

Seriously??

Ok, so I've had this little tidbit to share for a while now, but Sanford, being the cautious one, was like, "What if you put this story out there and then the person you are telling it about reads your blog and hates you?"

Yeah well, I seriously doubt she reads my blog and this is just too crazy not to share.


So, here goes...

Let's call her Jamie. Back in August Jamie contacted me on facebook, asking about my surgery. I've never been one to hide it, so I was more than happy to answer any questions she had. She was a classmate of Sanford's and my mother is friends with her family. I wouldn't call her a friend...but that's beside the point.

Being "friends" with her on facebook was pretty entertaining. She is the type of person who always has some sort of crazy - I mean certifiable - drama going on in her life.

Back to the lap band story. In a matter of a few weeks she went from looking into the surgery to actually having the surgery - or so she says. She was on liquids for weeks and weeks and weeks. Once she moved to mushies, she found that she couldn't keep anything down and had to go back on liquids.

I found this odd, and when I asked her about her level of restriction she said that she had 6ccs put in DURING SURGERY!!! Let's call that head scratcher #1.

THEN she said that she had also planned to have a boob job AND a tummy tuck on the same day as lap band, but the surgeon ran out of time. Head scratcher #2.

She seemed to have nothing but problems with her band from the beginning and was constantly making trips back and forth to her surgeon, who is in Houston - 2 hours away.

Here's the kicker: Right before Christmas she had some "major complications" and had to have another surgery. Only this time, for whatever reason she went to Lake Charles...LOUISIANA. Why?? Did her band slip?? Was there erosion?? Port issues?? Nope. She said her band had become tangled up around her intestines. WTH??? I laughed at first, then I decided to research it. You know what I found?? ONE CASE...where the tubing had become entangled with the intestines during a tummy tuck procedure. It was the ONLY case of anything like that ever happening, and it was several years ago. It was written up in medical journals.

This is just the most bizarre thing to me. I mean, I know there are people out there who are willing to do anything for attention, but WOW. Jamie has also NEVER posted any pictures of herself...she talks about her band constantly, and has lost "100 pounds" since surgery. In SEPTEMBER. But doesn't share pictures.

Her aunt, who is friends with my mom, told me to stay far far away from her and all of her craziness. NO problem!!! I can't handle all that crazy in person. I can, however, sit back and laugh.

Now, maybe I'm just skeptical. Have any of you heard of any such complication?? Or "success" stories? I don't know. For now I'm calling BS!!!!

Measurements

When I started my lap band journey, I didn't take any measurements. AND up until about a week ago, I still hadn't.

I was just going by what the scale said. And my clothes.

But, when I was searching for something last week I came across an old record that had all of my measurements!! It was from about a year before my surgery - when I was going to a "fat" doctor. You know, the diet pills and shots that help you lose a little weight....until you stop and gain it all back and then some.

Anywho, I was pretty stoked to find these records and immediately took my current measurements!!!

                             Before                                    NOW
Arms                      19                                           13

Chest                      52                                          37

Waist                      48                                          33

Hips                        55                                          40

Thighs                     29                                          21

That's a total of 59 inches!!!!!

I LOVE my band!!!!


I've got another knee slapper of a post floating around in my noggin' and as soon as I finished my Anatomy homework I'll share!!!

Everyone should have their own personal redneck!

I'm telling you, ladies, if you don't have one, you should go find you one!! Even if you already have a significant other. Just a redneck on the side for emergencies!!

This morning, before coffee, I threatened murder. My poor and innocent Sanford was sitting in his recliner, minding his own business when I unleashed on him. I went to the laundry room to put his work clothes in the dryer and they were sitting in a washer full of water. I assumed that he had pulled the knob out last night when he took a shower then forgot to push it back in when he was finished.

Oops. The one time I have ever been wrong in 8 years of marriage!!! (OK, maybe there has been one or two more occasions...lol) Anywho, long story short: the washer was broken. I was so mad I kicked it. It didn't help. So, Sanford - you know, my amazingly handy redneck hubby - managed to jerry rig it. He cut the wires that went to the safety mechanism - you know that thing that stops it from spinning when you open the lid - and wired the two wires directly together. Now, of course if you open the lid during the spin cycle you could lose an appendage AND he informed me that if the nut thingy that is holding the wires together comes off and sparks and the sparks land on some dryer lint the house could go off like a roman candle - BUT I am able to wash clothes!!!

My poor, dear Sanford. He is a super handy man to have around.

He is currently going through his second childhood. His poor old truck, Cletus, was breathing its last breaths, so he TRADED his 2001 truck for a 1996 4x4 -"Big Old Red." After spending 1000 on the transmission that went out the first we he had it he is now back on the road!!! Or, I suppose I should say OFF roading. Every time it so much as sprinkles we are hitting the backroads, slinging mud. It is actually a lot of fun (except for the time I was playing with my iPod, not paying attention and ended up with a lap of sweet tea)!!! At at the end of the week he is going to get some new, wider and bigger tires....he is like a kid with a new toy. Super cute!!!!

I really love that man!!!

Things I've learned

In the short week I've been back in school, I've learned some important things. About myself!!

1. I lack patience. Particularly, for ignorance. Ok, so we are in child psychology. Yes, we are going to learn about various theories we disagree with (I mean, hello, Freud was a nutcase) but this isn't the forum for debating your beliefs on corporal punishment. Shut up and a take notes people!!!
2. I am much more assertive. I think will have to bite my tongue tomorrow in class, otherwise I will stand up before lecture begins and yell, "If you want to debate any topic we discuss in class, do it during office hours people. Let the prof. speak!!!" (3 classes down and we've gotten through two friggin' slides of a bazillion slide powerpoint.
3. I am uber prepared. Last week during A&P lab our professor told us to look over the first two pages of our lab manual. What did I do?? Took about 12 pages of notes, made flash cards, memorized all of the key terms, made diagrams with overlays, printed out practice worksheets, and did the first several pages of my workbook. I walk into class today and see most of my classmates just taking the cellophane wrappers off of their lab manuals!!!

Yeah, I'm a nerd. BUT I'm a woman who wants to get as much as I can out of my education. I already have a BS. I know how the system works. Let's do this, people.

Oh, and in lab today I wanted to hit the little girl with blue and purple hair over the head with my textbook. She has already failed the course twice and did not take a single note. Nada. Didn't even have a pencil out on her desk. AND don't get me started on the dingbat sitting behind me.

Of course they probably all think I'm insane anyway. When discussing the best way (using the planes of the body) to cut up a body if you were a serial killer I blurt out, "Just do a quick transverse cut and the neck, keep the head and burn the rest of the body."
Maybe I am crazy?? Nah, it's just PMS!!!

BYOC - I'm a student, I get to be tardy to the party!!!

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! 5 little questions we answer to give our blogging brains a break and to get to know each other better. Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!




1. If money and time wasn't a problem - name a place you'd go on vacation and for how long?



I want to travel. I'd start out small. It is Sanford and my dream to load up and drive. First, I want to see all that my great state of Texas has to offer. It is like a whole country, ya know!! Then, I'd want to start toward the East Coast and meander my way around the country!!!

2. This week I had a discussion with some friends about names our children or other people we know call the "nether regions". Don't hate - it's funny. So let's share them for a laugh. Any creative words for hoohaa and tallywhacker you think we haven't heard yet?



Growing up, we didn't discuss such parts. My mom called my nether regions "possible." As in, "I will wash as far as possible, and you wash possible," at bath time.

I had a friend that called her nether regions her "china box." Not really sure where that one came from!!!


3. Take a picture of your nails right now! Bossy, aren't I? I just had my nails done - I can't help it. I neeeed to show someone!

This is the longest mani I've had in a while - same color since Tuesday?? Oh the humanity!!!


4. Tell me about the weather right now where you are!

Ugh. It's 80 degrees and humid. And windy as all get out. In friggin' January. I would be loving this weather if a) the grass and trees still weren't dead and depressing and b) the humidity and wind didn't make me so cold. If this keeps up, I won't be wearing shorts until July.


5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and blog land.


Real life: I'm trying to get myself into a routine with school. Of course, today I am ready to commit murder. All I want to do is study my "language of Anatomy" and people won't stop freaking bothering me. I mean, seriously, no one - and I mean no one - ever ever ever stops by for a visit. Today my house is like Grand Central. Argh!!
BUT, school is still agreeing with my scale. I'm not dropping pounds like crazy, but no more bouncy bouncy bouncy.
Blog life: I'm reading, but not doing much commenting. And the support system is still my anchor!!!

Ten Things Thursday

With school starting this week, my life again has "meaning and purpose" and I thought I would blurb out some of my thoughts bullet-style. Being Thursday, I will just jump on the 10 things Thursday Bandwagon!!!

1. School started Tuesday!! I am so grateful for my parents and their never-ending support. Without them, I would not have been able to start this semester!!
2. I am eventually going to become and RN, but I'm starting out focusing on my LVN.
3. Hopefully it will only take me 3-4 long semesters to complete my degree. That depends on how much I can take in the summer/mini sessions.
4. I really enjoy learning. Nerd.
5. Speaking of being a nerd, when I got my textbooks on Friday, I immediately began reading my A&P text, outlining the first chapter, making flash cards and visual aides. Sanford has really given me grief about this!!
6. During Tuesday's lab I was the only one taking "notes" regarding cell phone/tardy policies. And of course the prof pointed that out to the class, asking for a copy of my notes. NERD.
7. College-life has changed so much since I graduated with my BA in 2004. Everything is online: assignment submission, syllabi, so on and so on.
8. Since I'm going to college in the same town where I taught high school for the first four years of my teaching career, I am getting a lot of strange looks from former students. None of them have had the guts to talk to me yet!!
9. College life and my scales are really digging each other. I'm not sitting at home, so I'm not snacking. And when I am at home I am too busy being nerdy to think about eating!!
10. I am taking a Nutrition class. The prof is a year younger than me....but I think *hope* I will get a lot out of the class. Our "Critical Thinking Project" for the semester is log our food intake on www.choosemyplate.gov and e-mail the results of a 3 day span to the prof. Kinda cool!!

It's official...

I am going back to school!!! EEK!!!

Classes start TUESDAY!!!! I'm taking Anatomy and Physiology (I got this in the bag, I watch Grey's), Diet and Nutrition Therapy, and Child Psychology.

I'm pretty darn excited!! AND I have gym access!!! Oh yeah!

Skin or no skin?

On apples, that is. Do you eat the skin, or do you peel them first?? Personally, the skin is my favorite part. I’ve never really liked the middle. But, as I sit here – the skin doesn’t seem to be liking me very much. And I wish they didn’t brown so fast. I takes me 10 minutes to eat one wedge…and now the others are brown. =(


Yesterday’s plan was to eat a healthy supper. I had it all planned out…and then the lights went out!! Ugh. From 4:30 to 11:00 we were living the life of the pioneer. And once the batteries on our phones, lap top, iPod and Kindle died – it got pretty boring!!! And that led to a 9:00 supper of desperation – Pizza. At least I did get some butt kicking Zumba in yesterday!!

Speaking of Zumba – I have the official DVDs…and I don’t like them. I loved the songs we danced to in class last year, and after searching for ever and ever and ever I finally found some of them on youtube.

My legs started screaming with the first squat – just proving that I’ve been lazy for far too long!!! But, it felt great to sweat!!

And today, I planned out my lunches, snacks and suppers for the rest of the week. I’ve never done this – let’s see if it helps. I even drug my lazy butt to the grocery store and stocked up!! Greek yogurt, apples, lettuce, and cauliflower.

AND, I’m playing the part of the good wife!! I have Sanford’s lunches all packed for the rest of the week in little brown bags in the fridge. BTW, my new amazing fridge?? Well I still love it. But I noticed that first night that there were little shards of glass everywhere. Come to find out, one of the shelves broke during shipping or delivery and instead of replacing, they just took it out!!! So, they are bringing me a new one today!!!

I know my life is so interesting, right??

Tag (and random trivia: Tag is also known as tip, tick, tig, tiggy, dobby, it, chase)

I was tagged by Sam (=

The Rules

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ Blah blah blah, you legitimately have to tag 11 peeps!

My random 11
1. I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas. I am now re-addicted to Angry Birds!!

2. I love to jump up out of the bed and start doing laundry first thing in the morning. Drives Sanford crazy!

3. Most of my Christmas presents were "kitchen-based." I guess there was some unspoken theme that I needed to get in the kitchen and cook Sanford something....LOL

4. I am looking forward to Spring. After taking a several year hiatus, I plan on planting flowers again this year!!

5. I'm still holding on to my sad, worn out 42DD bras like I'm actually going to be able to use them for something...maybe a winter hat?

6. I desperately need a new purse. I've never gone this long without buying a purse...

7. I like love Taylor Swift.

8. When cleaning out my truck yesterday, I found 7 never before used Zumba DVDs!!!

9. I still have my Christmas jingle bells on my front door - from 4 years ago!!!

10. I hate feet. Particularly, MY feet.

11. I want a big, yard dog. Like a German Shepherd or something hairy like that. Chris is afraid a big dog will try to eat our Chihuahua babies!!

Sam's Questions :o)

1. How often do you have to wash your hair?

I usually wash my hair every other day - but sometimes I have to wash it daily!!!

2. What's your daily goal for protein intake?

Confession...I've never made a protein goal...bad, I know!

3. Favorite item on the work desk?

My iHome. Without it, I would go insane!!

4. Who would you pick to solve your murder: criminal minds team or CSI?

Um, have you seen Derrick?? Of course, I'd be dead. But, I'd say criminal minds!! (I also wouldn't be able to stand Horatio and his over-dramatic self. I'd come back from the dead and haunt him!!)

5. What is your favorite flower?

The Hibiscus. It reminds me of my Grandmother!!

6. What book are you reading now?

Currently, I'm reading Stephen King's Bag of Bones. I'm waiting for "Not Another Mother's Son" to come in the mail.

7. What is your favorite sport?

I'd have to say football, even though I'm ready for this season to be over. My heart just hasn't been in it this year.

8. Are you usually late, early or always on time when meeting with someone?

I'm always late. for everything. ALWAYS.

9. Have you / would you ever bungee jump?

No way, Jose. That whole free falling thing weirds me out. I don't even do straight drop rollercoasters!!! (BUT Greezed Lightening was my favorite ride at Astroworld!)

10. What would be your dream career?

If you would have asked me that 5 months ago, I would have given you an answer in a heartbeat. Now, who knows....

11. Do you believe in first love?

I do!! But not that crappy high school I'm in love every other day junk. I really feel that Sanford is my first - and only - love.

My Questions:

1. What is your most played song on your iPod? (or if you don't have an iPod, that one song you listen to over and over and over)
2. What's your least favorite thing about yourself?
3. What is your favorite smell?
4. Do you dream or have nightmares?
5. What is your "go to" healthy snack?
6. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
7. Do you lock your doors?
8. In which store would you max out your credit cards?
9. What is the best/worst job you've ever had? 
10. What is the one TV program you can't live without?
11. Can you function without coffee?

And who I am tagging?

1. Laura
2. Miss April
3. Terrie
4. MandaPanda
5. AmandaKiska
6. Robin
7. Cassie
8. Chubby McGee
9. Bonnie
10. Kristin50
11. oh_mg

It's a gremlin...I'm sure of it.

Why, oh why is it that I don't want to shove anything into my face all day. I eat balanced, decent bandster friendly meals all day - like a good girl.

And then night comes...and suddenly I'm possessed by a gremlin. I want to shove everything in my mouth. EEK!

Last night I ate Reese's cups. Meh.

I am just going to duct tape my mouth shut. Put a shocking device on the fridge and the cabinet. Something.

And, it doesn't help that my dear sweet Sanford eats a huge bowl of Banana Pudding ice cream every night. He is such a bad influence. Too bad I love him so much, or I might punch him.

2012 - a breakdown

SO, a resolution to not have any resolutions has resulted in some OCD-laced goals for the new year. I suppose I should publish them - in order to hold myself accountable. Then, keep a daily blog with any indiscretions. Because, I am human right??

2012 Goals

January 1 - March 1

• Lose: 24 pounds
• Exercise: 3-4 times/week
• Drink: 48 ounces of water/day
• Quit: Cheetos, chocolate, late-night junkfests

March 1 - June 1

• Lose: 20 pounds
• Exercise: 5 times/week
• Drink: 64 ounces water/day
• Quit: See above!!!

June 1 - September 1

• Lose: 10 pounds (will put me at 160)
• Drink: 64+ ounces water/day
• Exercise: 5+ times/week

September 1 - December 31

• Enter maintenance mode!
• maybe lose 10 more pounds...we shall see!
• Keep on exercising, drinking water and staying away from junk!!

Confession: I've never tracked calories, protein, water intake, food consumption or exercise in my weight loos journey thus far. I have also noticed that I have stopped losing as easily as I once did, and I think that this course of action will *hopefully* get everything moving in the right direction.

I'm sick and tired of losing and gaining the same 5-9 pounds. My scale is like a yo-yo and it is driving me nucking futz. Enough is enough.

BYOC

Duuuuuuuuudes….BYOC is back after a small holiday hiatus.











Yup, Bring Your Own Crazy returns! It is 5 little questions you can answer in your own blog to give your blogging brain a break and to get to know each other better.






Copy, paste and enjoy!






Let’s do a holiday/new year themed BYOC today!






1. How do you feel about NY resolutions? Do you make them? Do you forget about them quickly? Do they help you?






For as long as I can remember, pre-band, my NY resolution was the same: lose weight. This year, I've mapped out goals. Not resolutions. I've broken the year up into quarters and have mini goals for each one. Here's to trying something new!!


2. Did you put up a Christmas tree? How many? Is it still up?






This year I traded trees with my m-i-l. She wasn't in the "spirit" so she took my four foot tree and I took her 7 foot tree. I have a "pooh" themed tree. Since I've been married, my mom has bought me the Hallmark Pooh collection. It's super cute. I actually just finished taking it down!! It takes forever because I put all of the ornaments in their original boxes!!






3. How many total Christmases did you choose to have to attend outside of your home?






Sanford and I opened our presents on Christmas Eve morning. (It is a tradition they started when he was a kid, because they always travelled to his grandmother's on Christmas Day.) Then, we went to his parent's house for lunch. Later that evening, we did the gift swap at his Aunt's...thankfully (maybe) we all live on top of each other, so essentially I didn't even leave the house... And we spent Christmas Day with my parents.






4. What are you most looking forward to this year?






I'm looking for a purpose this year. Whether it be that I resume my teaching career or start something new. Like start nursing school. Stability is really something I'm looking forward to!!!






5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blogland this week.






Real life: Not too much to report. Worked a few days at my grandparents. Got a letter giving me the option to surrender my certificate...blah. AND I got the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing fridge!! I was wanting new furniture, but our other fridge crapped out...so there went my sofa!!!
 
 

Isn't she lovely?

I also had a former student upload a pic to FB that really made me smile. I loved teaching, and this is one of the reason why. The story behind the pic: I can't exactly remember where the phrase came from - something quirky one of my kiddos said, one that struggled in class, but came up with this hilarious phrase out of the blue one day! And then, I made the poster and stuck it in the window. That was in 2007. 5 years later, and the poster is still in the window!!

We don't eat fruit on our tacos!

In blogland: After being MIA for over a month, I've returned. And found the same amazing support system that has always been there. Why? Because you guys are awesome!!!

2012: "Ima do me."

I've been absent. I just turned my back on blogging right at Thanksgiving and never looked back. But, in order to hold myself accountable, I have returned.



2011, to say the least, was a bipolar year for me. Everything in my world turned upside down in October and I spent the rest of the year trying to pick up the pieces. This upheaval did not prove positive toward my weight loss goals. I used it as an excuse to stress eat. Anything that comes in an orange package: Cheetos, Kit Kats, mini Reeses... My weight went from onederland to 219.
 

219.

 

Ugh. It took me a while before I pulled myself up enough to stop the craptastic eating. With the New Year, I'm falling back into my old bandster routines. I even sat down and mapped out some goals for the year. Not resolutions - but changes!!

 

There are some positive things to mention, weight-wise. Looking back on my journey with my band...

 

2 years ago:

 

• I weighed 329 pounds.
• I was wearing a size 26 pants. (And they were tight!)
• I was wearing 3x and 4x tops, size 10 shoes and a 44DD bra.
• I was preparing to have my first consult with my surgeon.

1 year ago:

• I weighed 254 pounds.
• I was wearing a size 18 pants, 1x tops, 10 shoes, and 42DD bra.
• I was recovering from having a 5 pound, basketball-sized cyst, my right ovary, and right fallopian tube removed.

Today:

My mom is sitting to my right. People say we don't look alike.
I'm pretty sure we are twins.

• I weigh 203 pounds.
• I am wearing a size 14 pants (some 12s), large tops, 9-9.5 shoes, and a 38C bra.
• I no longer am able to shop in the Women's Department at all!!

Physically I am starting this year in a much better place.

Otherwise, I am still playing the waiting game with my career. I had to write a letter to the Board of Education, basically trying to keep my certificate. I don't have a really good feeling about it. I think they are going to make an example out of me.

With that decision in the hands of some committee in our state capitol, I'm seriously considering going back to college. The thought actually excites me. But, college is a lot more expensive these days. So, it's another one of those wait and see things.

I have been keeping myself busy with some crafting projects...fun stuff.

My "laboratory"

My first project - for my s-i-l

A key ring holder for the in laws

For cousin's toddler

Cars themed room

Too much time on my hands and pinterest = nail art!!



Here's to 2012 - It's gotta get better, right???